Sarcasm 101
Sarcasm [derived from the word annoyance] is the sneering, sly, jesting, or mocking of a person, situation or thing. It is strongly associated with irony, with some definitions classifying it as a type of verbal irony intended to insult or wound — stating the opposite of the intended meaning, e.g. using "that's fantastic" to mean "that's awful". It is used mostly in a humorous manner, but can express annoyance or anger and is frequently referred to as the "lowest form of wit". [Wikipedia]Generally speaking I would not consider myself to be sarcastic, although I sometimes use sarcasm in my blogs to drive home a point. When it comes to sarcasm in relationships, I just hate it. Some people love it.
Oddly enough, sarcastic remarks are often used between friends, perhaps as a somewhat perverse demonstration of the strength of the bond—only a good friend could say this without hurting the other's feelings, or at least without excessively damaging the relationship, since feelings are often hurt in spite of a close relationship. If you drop your lunch tray and a stranger says, "Well, that was really intelligent," that's sarcasm. If your girlfriend or boyfriend says it, that's love—I think. [EGHSAP Literary Terms]In my experience, sarcasm is often connected to insecurity—people say something as a joke because they don't have the confidence to speak their mind. I've heard it said that there's an element of truth in every joke. If that's the case, I think we should learn how to joke a lot less and speak the truth (in love) a lot more.
Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic,
be loving, be compassionate, be humble.
That goes for all of you, no exceptions.
No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm.
Instead, bless—that's your job, to bless.
You'll be a blessing and also get a blessing.
Whoever wants to embrace life
and see the day fill up with good,
Here's what you do:
Say nothing evil or hurtful;
Snub evil and cultivate good;
run after peace for all you're worth.
God looks on all this with approval,
listening and responding well to what he's asked;
But he turns his back
on those who do evil things. [1 Peter 3:8-12 | The Message]
This entry was posted
on Sunday, December 16, 2007 at 11:53 AM.
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10:46 PMInteresting post. Was there an incident that prompted to you post this? If so and you are not willing to share. No problem.
9:54 AM
Speaking as one of the sarcastic people that you are surrounded by haha...
Joking (and sarcasm) and it's proper place and usage is something that I (as well) have analyzed over the years... as it was my primary method of communication for many years. I knew I had (as the t-shirt says) "the service" of sarcasm and could manipulate situations because of it.
It became something EXTREMELY destructive to me personally and the relationships of the people around me. At one point I had an actually very difficult time not being jaded and cynical about nearly everything. Sarcasm and joking were both a cause and a symptom-of it.
Far from an excuse... but even as I've travelled around Southern Ontario's cities... I've found Brantfordians to be overly sarcastic people... and your point about it being used to hide real feelings and being done out of insecurity is very true for the most part. When I got "free" from my old way of thinking (which, in high school, having a literal purpose of tearing people down emotionally through humor until they wept) (NICE GUY EH!) I realized how horribly insecure of a person I was... masked in a false brazen front.
Over the years, I've found much of what you said to be very true and have been continually challenged by God to refine the humor gift that he gave to me. Jokes I would have made easily in the past... I can no longer even think about. I still joke with my friends (who are actually close to me) as a sign of affection. But even that has been refined... because if it ever falls into the old catagory of tearing down... it's quite sickening to me. Because, as I've discovered over time... I actually have been gift gifts of encouragement ironically enough. It's rarely been a consious effort, but more a result of God changing a heart.
"For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks."
But there also must be grace in this area. Because there are those, who were like me years ago, that honestly do not know how to express their thoughts. They don't know how to "joke with the guys" without being crude and hurtful. It's an area that is an issue that is rarely considered before it's said, but is often dealt with after it's done it's damage.
11:01 PM
@dave: Thanks for your comments and insight - it was very helpful and informative.
11:16 PM
but sometimes... it's simply just joking so that we don't take ourselves too seriously.
11:25 PM
@dave: I've always appreciated how you keep things real and bring us down to earth when we start to get too spiritual and serious about ourselves.
:-)
2:16 AM
I get sarcastic when I'm angry and really lose it on someone. It is probably one of the only times I use it. And there are no ifs ands or buts ... it is accurately aimed and finds it's target.
Angry ... MAD which is another word for "not" of sound mind
It is sincerely asshole stuff.
Thanks for the true confessions Dave.
You got the asshole in you too.
High five brother...
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!
Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.
Phil 4
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