Life in General

Romans 12: 9-21
J. B. Phillips New Testament

12:9 - Let us have no imitation Christian love. Let us have a genuine break with evil and a real devotion to good.

12:10 - Let us have real warm affection for one another as between brothers, and a willingness to let the other man have the credit.

12:11 - Let us not allow slackness to spoil our work and let us keep the fires of the spirit burning, as we do our work for God.

12:12 - Base your happiness on your hope in Christ. When trials come endure them patiently, steadfastly maintain the habit of prayer.

12:13 - Give freely to fellow-Christians in want, never grudging a meal or a bed to those who need them.

12:14 - ... as for those who try to make your life a misery, bless them. Don't curse, bless.

12:15 - Share the happiness of those who are happy, the sorrow of those who are sad.

12:16 - Live in harmony with each other. Don't become snobbish but take a real interest in ordinary people. Don't become set in your own opinions.

12:17 - Don't pay back a bad turn by a bad turn, to anyone. Don't say "it doesn't matter what people think", but see that your public behaviour is above criticism.

12:18 - As far as your responsibility goes, live at peace with everyone.

12:19 - Never take vengeance into your own hands, my dear friends: stand back and let God punish if he will. For it is written: 'Vengeance is mine. I will repay'.

12:20-21 - ... these are God's words: 'Therefore if your enemy hungers, feed him; if he thirsts, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head'. Don't allow yourself to be overpowered with evil. Take the offensive - overpower evil by good!

I have only been to church four times in the last six months. That is so unlike me. I am one of those people who usually goes above and beyond when it comes to being loyal to something, especially church.

I was raised in church. I never knew anything differently. Church is what my family did - at least 4 or 5 times a week. I grew up wearing the right clothes, making sure I didn't swear, dance or go to movies, singing hymns, memorizing scripture and, of course, hiding sin in my life. After all, that's what people do (or don't do) that attend church.

Many post-modern churches have eliminated the dress codes and moral plumb lines connected to vulgar language, alcohol and dancing, but in the end they, too, appear bound by forms of godliness that deny the reality of who God is - and why God sent Jesus to love this world.

Church is not a building. And it is not people that meet in a building to sing songs that they don't mean. Jesus came to destroy the temple and religious people have resurrected it. Church is me. And you, if God dwells in you.

Don't get me wrong, I am still a little conflicted over all of this. Partly because I have been loyal to church attendance for 40+ years. And partly because I have experienced six months of non-church life, which is something new for me.

One thing is certain - I have not missed church at all.

When I was a kid I remember our church singing a song that said signs of the times are everywhere. Back then we were observing the decline of our culture while anticipating the Lord's return. Although sin seemed to be increasing all around us we continued to hold on to the hope that Christ would come and redeem us from the ungodly generation.

Today the signs are in the church, and it doesn't look good.

A friend on Facebook posted an article about a church that recently lost its charitable status. The article was posted on a pro-church, pro-Christian website that could potentially be biased. So I decided to research the news via the Internet only to discover a similar article in the National Post. The original article was verifiable but it left out additional facts about the situation.

The church lost its charitable status for several reasons, including a lack of clarity on how it spends it money and for participating in activities outside its stated purpose.

To me this situation is a sign. Churches are not keeping their end of the deal (legally) and they have lost sight of the purposes of God.

Churches say they are impacting cities. They say they desire unity with other churches. And they tell you that you will be blessed if you are generous with your tithes and offerings.

Yet people are not getting saved. Churches are not growing. And church finances are being spent on salaries and building projects.

Please don't misunderstand me - I believe that Christians should be in fellowship with each other on a regular (if not daily) basis. I believe that God raises up people to teach the truth of His word. And I believe that God desires that we are generous on all occasions.

I also believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. I believe He died and rose again and that someday He will return for His people. But I don't think I have to go to a church building 3 times a week to believe these things, be who God created me to be or fulfill the purposes of God.

"The Most High does not live in houses made by men."

[ Acts 7:48 ]

I am the Temple of the Holy Spirit - I am the Church. God lives in me. And He wants me to be the kind of Church that brings glory to His name.

Ten years ago the world was stockpiling non-perishables and purchasing generators in preparation for the dreaded Y2K.

Today (ten years later) the media is still scaring us into doing things that are unnecessary.

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." [Philippians 4:6]

I pray that you will have a healthy and anxiety free New Year!

Until the deaths of Canadian soldiers killed in Afghanistan, probably almost no one outside their home country had been aware that Canadian troops are deployed in the region.

And as always, Canada will bury its dead, just as the rest of the world, as always will forget its sacrifice, just as it always forgets nearly everything Canada ever does.. It seems that Canada 's historic mission is to come to the selfless aid both of its friends and of complete strangers, and then, once the crisis is over, to be well and truly ignored.

Canada is the perpetual wallflower that stands on the edge of the hall, waiting for someone to come and ask her for a dance. A fire breaks out, she risks life and limb to rescue her fellow dance-goers, and suffers serious injuries. But when the hall is repaired and the dancing resumes, there is Canada, the wallflower still, while those she once helped glamorously cavort across the floor, blithely neglecting her yet again.

That is the price Canada pays for sharing the North American continent with the United States, and for being a selfless friend of Britain in two global conflicts.

For much of the 20th century, Canada was torn in two different directions: It seemed to be a part of the old world, yet had an address in the new one, and that divided identity ensured that it never fully got the gratitude it deserved.

Yet it's purely voluntary contribution to the cause of freedom in two world wars was perhaps the greatest of any democracy. Almost 10% of Canada 's entire population of seven million people served in the armed forces during the First World War, and nearly 60,000 died. The great Allied victories of 1918 were spearheaded by Canadian troops, perhaps the most capable soldiers in the entire British order of battle.

Canada was repaid for its enormous sacrifice by downright neglect, it's unique contribution to victory being absorbed into the popular memory as somehow or other the work of the 'British'.

The Second World War provided a re-run. The Canadian navy began the war with a half dozen vessels, and ended up policing nearly half of the Atlantic against U-boat attack. More than 120 Canadian warships participated in the Normandy landings, during which 15,000 Canadian soldiers went ashore on D-Day alone.

Canada finished the war with the third-largest navy and the fourth largest air force in the world. The world thanked Canada with the same sublime indifference as it had the previous time.

Canadian participation in the war was acknowledged in film only if it was necessary to give an American actor a part in a campaign in which the United States had clearly not participated - a touching scrupulousness which, of course, Hollywood has since abandoned, as it has any notion of a separate Canadian identity.

So it is a general rule that actors and filmmakers arriving in Hollywood keep their nationality - unless, that is, they are Canadian. Thus Mary Pickford, Walter Huston, Donald Sutherland, Michael J. Fox, William Shatner, Norman Jewison, David Cronenberg, Alex Trebek, Art Linkletter and Dan Aykroyd have in the popular perception become American, and Christopher Plummer, British.

It is as if, in the very act of becoming famous, a Canadian ceases to be Canadian, unless she is Margaret Atwood, who is as unshakably Canadian as a moose, or Celine Dion, for whom Canada has proved quite unable to find any takers.

Moreover, Canada is every bit as querulously alert to the achievements of its sons and daughters as the rest of the world is completely unaware of them. The Canadians proudly say of themselves - and are unheard by anyone else - that 1% of the world's population has provided 10% of the world's peacekeeping forces.

Canadian soldiers in the past half century have been the greatest peacekeepers on Earth - in 39 missions on UN mandates, and six on non-UN peacekeeping duties, from Vietnam to East Timor, from Sinai to Bosnia.

Yet the only foreign engagement that has entered the popular non-Canadian imagination was the sorry affair in Somalia, in which out-of-control paratroopers murdered two Somali infiltrators. Their regiment was then disbanded in disgrace - a uniquely Canadian act of self-abasement for which, naturally, the Canadians received no international credit.

So who today in the United States knows about the stoic and selfless friendship its northern neighbour has given it in Afghanistan?

Rather like Cyrano de Bergerac, Canada repeatedly does honourable things for honourable motives, but instead of being thanked for it, it remains something of a figure of fun. It is the Canadian way, for which Canadians should be proud, yet such honour comes at a high cost. This past year more grieving Canadian families knew that cost all too tragically well.

Lest we forget.

Kevin Myers
The Sunday Telegraph
London

OVERVIEW

Most people have heard of Post Traumatic STRESS Disorder (PTSD), but I’d like to introduce you to, what I like to call, Post Traumatic CHURCH Disorder (PTCD).

Much like PTSD, Post Traumatic Church Disorder is usually a result of a single stressful event or can occur after a long period of ongoing stress similar to "bullying." PTCD occurs in churches, usually by church leadership, influential members, denominational leaders, etc.

The pain and the abuse of PTCD can be incredible resulting in deep spiritual wounds. Much like PTSD, Post Traumatic Church Disorder is a natural emotional reaction to a deeply shocking and disturbing experience. It is a normal reaction to an abnormal (non-Godly) situation that usually results in sufferers stepping out of their roles and / or involvement in the church.

SYMPTOMS

irritability
sudden anger / outbursts (or suppressed anger)
reactive depression
guilt
shame
sadness
feelings of detachment
avoidance behaviors
nervousness, anxiety
loss of interest
loss of ambition / motivation
loss of spiritual vision
poor concentration
impaired memory
confusion
emotional numbness
low self-esteem
fear
lack of trust
intimidation
feelings of oppression
impaired spiritual hearing
detachment from spiritual gifts
detachment from institutional church

EFFECTS / RESULTS

Although some people suffering from Post Traumatic Church Disorder (PTCD) turn their back on God and walk away from their faith completely, I believe this is rare. Most continue to have a loving relationship with God as the foundation of their life. Many even experience spiritual growth and increased faith by recognizing that God would not mistreat them like they were mistreated by the church.

On the other hand, PTCD causes many sufferers to stay away from "the church" that hurt them while seeking Godly relationships outside the walls of the church. While some find a few significant relationships, often their journey leads to a secluded life that only feeds the already debilitating symptoms of PTCD.

In his book Houses That Change The World, Wolfgang Simson refers to the effects of what he calls “church trauma” stating that many who had ministry callings leave their positions of church leadership to go into business or the medical field.

“Church trauma” – a very deep and tricky wound inflicted on (people) by the very institution of healing, the church, which did not live up to its own calling and which – an almost devilish scheme – has badly hurt those whose (gifts and) ministries it needed most.

The tragedy of this is that the church is God’s mission. Someone needs to find (these people), go to them, apologize to them profoundly, heal the “church trauma”, speak to that glowing spark and fan it into a flame, and then recruit them, helping them to see how God sees them and release them into their (spiritual) potential for the building up of the church. [p. 125]

PART TWO

[ I want to talk about my personal experience and how it relates to what I wrote in Part One. In Part Three I hope to provide additional data based on research I have done. The following commentary is based on a conversation I had with a friend shortly after I wrote the beginning of this article. ]

I've always wondered why I felt like my head was in a cloud after the church / denominational leadership crap I went through. It was only a couple of months ago that I read the quote about "church trauma" - and that's when the light went on. So, I started to do some research and began to write out some of my findings. I want to write more about the effects of church trauma (that I am discovering) and also how to experience healing (which I have NOT discovered yet - not fully anyhow).

I believe people who experience some kind of church trauma have various experiences / reactions / symptoms - I don't think any two are the same, which makes the whole topic of healing and recovery tricky. For example... with me, I believe I had some good support and even experienced breakthroughs (and some healing) throughout my experience - some people don't have that kind of support and get worse as they go along.

I can remember the day I released forgiveness to my denominational leaders, etc. – a very important step in my "recovery" - even though I didn't realize HOW important at the time. But lately I have felt "stuck" and I don't know how to move forward - those are the things I'm researching now and hopefully one day I WILL be able to help others, no matter what level of church trauma has affected them.

Stuck. Yeah - like a blockage in my brain - loss of motivation (RE: former ministry, writing music, etc.) - things I still WANT to do, but my motivation is gone and I don't know how to get it back! It's like the church stole the "soul" of my life through the pain and mistreatment (if that makes any sense).

I should be in ministry again. I should be writing worship songs like I used to. But I can't get there. I'm crippled, so-to-speak, and I can't seem to recover.

During my 4 year ordeal I DID write songs about the pain I was experiencing, and about hope. But when the fatal blow came and the denomination cut me off, for no justified reason, I became “blocked”. It is so hard to explain how blocked I feel sometimes - like writer's block - only "recording / ministry block".

I need to ask God about the “block”. And that would be easy if I didn't have an "asking block" too! lol

I love God - He is the foundation of my life - but I just can't seek Him like I used to - I "see" and "hear" Him the most when I'm leading worship - and usually He speaks to me about other people - it's hard to hear for myself. It's like I've had memory loss - and I hate the way that feels. Yes, I still minister, but not like I used to. And when I need to seek Him RE: "me" it's different.

That said... God seems to speak to me all the time - every day - and He leads me... clearly. But the way I seek Him is different, and sometimes I wish it was BETTER. Or at least like I used to be able to seek Him.

Obviously this is a new chapter in my life and some may think I’m in this mess because I’m unhappy. That could be, but I'm generally happy. I don't think this is a "happy" issue - I am content, at peace, love God, etc. It is more of a frustrating or confusing issue - why don't I write songs anymore? How did I lose my inspiration and creative edge? Why don't I CARE that I lost it sometimes?

There seems to be a hold on my gifts. Yes. Like my gifts have been on layaway for many years now, and no one is picking them up from the store.

PART THREE

[ The following is information I have gathered from the Internet regarding people who experience some sort of “trauma” resulting in a “stress” (or church) disorder. Hopefully the following resource will shed additional light on Post Traumatic Church Disorder. ]

It is so hard for the modern western leader to admit he / she may have such a deep wound. Another name for this wound is "shell-shock." During WWI, General Haigh had over 300 British and Commonwealth soldiers shot for cowardice - and it is now believed many were simply suffering from shell shock. During WWII many British fliers were labeled LMF. They "Lacked Moral Fiber" and were dishonored in that manor.

You see, especially in North America – with strong icons like John Wayne and Babe Ruth - suffering from crippling emotional wounding is simply not acceptable. Unfortunately much of the church feels the same way.

Thankfully, the Father of us all, the great El-Shaddai (God Almighty), has a totally different viewpoint.

Many in our modern western society just can't bear to believe you can be wounded emotionally or spiritually. It's simply un-American.

When we think of a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder we often think of war and terrorism. But in recent years it has been concluded that prolonged stress of certain kinds (bullying) can have a cumulative effect and impact you as much as one life and death threat in wartime. In other words, it is possible for a church goer to suffer Post Traumatic Church Disorder or PTCD.

Bullying can be thrust upon you by the denominational leadership, church board, leading members involved in power struggles, your mate, fellow pastors, or you, yourself, can bring this pressure on others if you are in authority in some manner.

Legalistic churches and cults are famous for bullying followers as amethod of control. When this happens, an entire culture that is unhealthy develops, sometimes on a worldwide basis if the denomination is large enough. Both leaders and lay-members become wounded in such churches.

For so many of us who have been abused in this manner (bullying), rejection is how our heart reads it. The great irony is, Christianity is the one true religion that should underscore unconditional love from a caring deity. Yet, the church, itself, can be one of the most destructive organizations to the human spirit.

With a war victim suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, the shock of what one human being can do to another plays a major factor. There is a total disillusionment with life, people and purpose. With the church leader suffering from PTCD, there is the nearly unbelievable shock of being treated in a certain manner by people claiming to be children of God. In both cases, the sensory bombardment is a reality that seems too harsh to accept. For the war victim, it is man's willingness to destroy life in a very cheap manner. For the church leader, it is the reality of the church's or denomination's carnality and willingness to play politics.

The bottom line in both cases is - real life is too shocking.

“I never dreamed it would or could be this way. I just want to go numb and block it out.”

In Part One I listed some of the symptoms of PTCD. Here I will list some reactions and symptoms often associated with being bullied, specifically.

• Fatigue with symptoms of or similar to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

• An anger of injustice stimulated to an excessive degree (sometimes but improperly attracting the words "manic" instead of motivated, "obsessive" instead of focused, and "angry" instead of "passionate", especially from those with something to fear)

• An overwhelming desire for acknowledgment, understanding, recognition and validation of their experience

• A simultaneous and paradoxical unwillingness to talk about the bullying

• A lack of desire for revenge, but a strong motivation for justice

• A tendency to oscillate between conciliation (forgiveness) and anger (revenge) with objectivity being the main casualty

• Extreme fragility, where formerly the person was of a strong, stable character

• Numbness, both physical (toes, fingertips, and lips) and emotional (inability to feel love and joy)

• Clumsiness

• Forgetfulness

• Hyper awareness and an acute sense of time passing, seasons changing, and distances traveled

• An enhanced environmental awareness, often on a planetary scale

• A constant feeling that one has to justify everything one says and does

Some of the above may apply to you or someone you know. What should our response be? How, as believers, should we handle this psychological, emotional and spiritual wound? It is deep, and life changing. You will never be the same again, but what should we do? What is the answer? How do we heal? How do we go on?

[ The following commentary and encouragement was also gathered online. I am including it as I personally prepare to write about healing in Part Four. ]

How did God work with His people in times of great stress? Elijah talked suicidal. For forty days he walked around the desert in a very bad attitude. During the whole 40 day period God never utter one word of condemnation to Elijah. In due time, God showed Elijah that a demonstration of power like the one given at the mountain to Moses and the children, or the one at Mt. Carmel, wound never change a heart in Israel. It would be the flow of His grace in the form of a still small voice to the very heart of Elijah that would heal Elijah and send him on his way.

Power reveals who the true God is, but it does not reveal much about God himself. Knowing God deeply and personally is everything, including the road back to sanity from spiritual wounding. The Father gives us no formulas to follow to be healed. He gives us Himself. It is His grace, His blood covenant love, flowing into us that will heal us and get us back to sanity and sound mind and heart. It was God's grace, not great wind and lightening shows that healed Elijah.

The two disciples on the road to Emmaus were fried to a crisp. They were burnt-out completely and deeply disillusioned. There was no more purpose to life from their viewpoint. As they walked, Jesus came along side, and in an act of grace befriended them and opened they minds and hearts to a new perspective. They came to "know" Jesus like never before. Coming to really "know" Jesus is an enormus act of healing for many problems. Like these two disciples on the road of life, we have met many who live in their own world of belief. They have a distorted gospel and strong opinions about issues that don't require strong opinions. "Religion" has taken over much of Christianity in the western world today. It is not surprising we have an epidemic of disillusionment in the American church today.

According to the Christian World Encyclopedia as many as 16 million people world wide walk out of the church each year! The church loves talking about the 19 million new converts it obtains each year, but I hear little concern regarding the millions that walk out shaking their heads in fatigue and dismay.

Let me say to those of you in deep pain right now. First, above all else, and in spite of all evidence, Father God has NOT forsaken you. He is with you, and He will bring you through this. Second, you will be healed by His grace, and end up knowing Him better than ever. That's a fact, whether you can believe it now or not, it will happen.

PART FOUR

During my research on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (specifically related to war veterans), I discovered that treatment usually consists of two things: medication and therapy (counselling). Although Post Traumatic Church Disorder (PTCD) is the result of a very different kind of trauma than PTSD, the symptoms and reactions are very similar. On the other hand, I do not think the treatment for Post Traumatic Church Disorder can be the same.

Please hear me. People will require medication and therapy of all sorts, for all sorts of health related issues. I am NOT questioning treatment methods that include drugs or counselling. In fact, during the initial stages of my personal experience with "church trauma" I participated in multiple counselling sessions that were effective, encouraging and helped me heal. You may need to talk with a professional counsellor or therapist about your PTCD experiences. I would highly recommend it. For me, it was life-giving.

I also know a few people that are being helped significantly (for depression specifically) through the use of daily medication, prescribed by their doctor. Although I do not like to take medications personally (because I prefer alternative medicine using natural supplements, etc.) I know that people can have positive experiences taking medications that improve chemical imbalances, etc.

So, for this final post on what I have labelled Post Traumatic Church Disorder, it is important that we dialogue about healing. In many ways I have not fully recovered from the "church trauma" I experienced at the hands of my former denomination, but I HAVE taken SIGNIFICANT steps toward healing and restoration.

And because there are so many variables when it comes to how "you" (or someone you know) has been hurt by the church, there are equally various solutions for helping someone heal. So even though I will share some very important steps I've taken towards healing, you may have taken other steps that I want you to share in the comments of this blog.

PRAYER. Sounds so simple, doesn't it. But asking someone to PRAY FOR YOU is so important. I have been amazed at how much relief I've experienced through a simple prayer prayed by a trusted friend. (And I'll talk about the importance of TRUST in a moment.)

CONFESSION. "Okay Paul, now you're boring me!" Yeah, I know. Again... simple. And confession goes hand-in-hand with prayer.

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. [ James 5:16 ]

If you read the context of that verse you will notice that it related to sick, or WEAK people! The AMPLIFIED VERSION says it this way...

Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart].

During my journey God "tricked" me into a confession session. Have you ever had God do that? I didn't want to "go" there. I just wanted to complain about how bad I had been hurt. But instead, God wanted to CLEAN ME UP FIRST so that I could be ready to not only be HEALED and RESTORED, but then to give it away to others. And he brought me to a person that embraced me COMPLETELY and UNCONDITIONALLY that I was able to "spill my guts" with. It was a very significant part of the healing process for me and included breaking soul ties, renouncing generational curses, etc.

[ If you have never heard of these things I would encourage you to do some research of your own. You can start by visiting Cleansing Stream, which is the minister that helped me considerably. ]

FORGIVENESS. You must deal with unforgiveness, offense and bitterness toward the people that hurt you. I remember VIVIDLY the morning that I released forgiveness (in prayer) toward the church leaders that hurt me. What a weight off my shoulders! What a relief! Releasing forgiveness is just as much for YOU as it is for the person who hurt you. Often God will ask you to reconcile with the person, or forgive them in person, but more often God simply wants you to deal with the unforgiveness, offense and bitterness that is being stored in your heart.

SIDE NOTE: you DO NOT have to continue in relationship with people that have hurt you. You can effectively release forgiveness to them while deciding NOT to associate with them ever again. Disconnecting yourself from the church that hurt you is usually part of the healing process, EVEN IF you have forgiven them. There is NO PRESSURE to go back into fellowship with the church or leaders that hurt you.

Wow, there is so much to say, but let me conclude by talking a bit about TRUST.

You do not OWE anything to anyone. No explanations, nothing.

Stop trusting in man!

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. [ Psalms 118:8 ]

NOWHERE in the Bible will you find God telling you to trust in people. That's because people MAY fail you. People MAY betray your confidence. Even good, well-intentioned, "Godly" people. (Been there. Happened to me.)

Regardless, God uses people to help us heal. And we need people that can support us, pray for us and be a sounding board for us. So ask God to bring one or two trustworthy people to you. And when you "trust" them with your vulnerable life and pain, know that they MAY fail you. Know that they MAY betray you. But in the end of it all, GOD WILL BE THE STRENGTH OF YOUR LIFE! [ Psalm 28:8 ]

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." [ Jeremiah 29:11 ]

© Paul Joseph

The flu vaccine contains:

formaldehyde (used to preserve corpses), aluminum, MSG, gluten, latex, tritonX100, polysorbate 80, glycerin, lead, sulfates, antibiotics, acetone, continue: phenoxyethanol (antifreeze), RNA & DNA protein, monkey kidney, avian & bovine serum, thimerosol (mercury), aborted fetal tissue, sorbitol, micro organisms, gelatin, tri(n)butylphosphate, flutaraldehyde, GMO yeast, animal, bacteria & viral DNA.

Perhaps you should do some research on these ingredients before you get them injected into your body. After all, if the swine flu doesn't kill you the vaccine surely will.