Wounded Healers
The Christian community resembles a Wall Street exchange of works wherein the elite are honored and the ordinary ignored. Love is stifled, freedom shackled and self righteousness fastened. The institutional church has become a wounder of the healers rather than a healer of the wounded.Ten years ago my world crumbled around me. Men, who I assumed were Godly simply by their position, betrayed my transparent heart and kicked me to the side of the road. I figured I could trust them; be honest; tell all. After all, these men were "above me" in ministry. My bishops, so-to-speak. People I could be accountable to.
And some of them WERE good men. But the system wouldn't allow them to be a voice for me. It only enabled them to make decisions based on fear. Decisions that would ultimately silence me.
Eventually even I had to surrender defeat to the system and walk away from restoration. Men's restoration, that is. Because what I discovered was that God was in the midst of my brokenness - teaching me; healing me; restoring me. And perhaps even allowing me to be wounded in the process.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.You cannot become a Healer until you have been broken. And to become broken you must be willing to let God throw you on the threshing floor, if necessary; naked, bruised and bleeding. And when He's done sifting you, THEN, and only then, will you be able to heal and strengthen others.
It is one thing to follow God's way of service if you are regarded as a hero, but quite another thing if the road marked out for you by God requires becoming a "doormat" under other people's feet.I think you are.
Are you ready to be sacrificed like that? Are you ready to be less than a mere drop in the bucket - to be so totally insignificant that no one remembers you even if they think of those you served? Are you willing to give and be poured out until you are used up and exhausted - not seeking to be ministered to, but to minister?
Broken and spilled out
And poured at your feet
In sweet abandon
Let me be spilled out
And used up for Thee
The system is broken. I'm glad you found healing anyway.
2:14 PM
I remember my disappointment at how you were treated and it really broke my heart. So many have been hurt. It seems there is an entire generation of wounded out there; many, many who have turned away. At times it seems hopeless and we can't see beyond the pain and rejection...if only we could hold on.
God has said, "Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence,
"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"
God is so very good (I know, cliche) but I am also glad you have kept trusting him through all the pain, so that you can be a "wounded healer".
Blessings!
10:23 PM
"You cannot be a healer until you have been broken" huh? I was always a bigger fan of "It is only after you've lost everything that you are free to do anything" but to each there own I guess
As for being "sacrficed"...I'm all for it. I am of the opinion that me as a person in the grand scheme of things am not important. What is important is what I leave behind. It's not important who I was but it is important what I did. I think this way of all things. At work I know that I am not as important as the job that I do. Other's can call this way of thinkin whatever they want, be it "sacrificing" or whatever, I call it team playing. One of the wisest things I ever heard said in my entire life was this "Don't try to be a great man, just try to be a man and let history decide what they want"
If somebody 100 years from now wants to tell my story that's all fine and dandy but for now I'm havin too much fun just bein me to worry about it
10:56 AM
this post is extraordinarialy timely in my life. i am now, and just this friday, april 21st, facing this same kind of thing from the leadership of my home body.
and on saturday, april 22nd, this post and a letter of "salve for the soul" from my grandfather showed up.
thank you for letting me know that healing is out there, not just for me, but then to be able to offer it up to others who may be in the same place.
nxqimlcx (any thoughts on how to pronounce this?)
ovhpkakh (or this? seeing how it didn't work the first time)
pvomhyqm (we'll try this again)
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