Everything Changes

It's Father's Day and it is a beautifully sunny morning. Last night I returned from visiting my dad. I took my time coming back and spent one night at a hotel in Indiana (with a jacuzzi, of course) and one night with friends in Windsor.

My dad was moved into a nursing home with hospice care the day after I left. My sister sent a couple of email updates to say that he was getting settled and that the nursing staff was wonderful.

About two hours before my arrival home my cell phone said I missed a call from my brother-in-law. I feared the worse because 30 minutes prior I had a meltdown in my rental car. Stopping at a rest area on the highway I sent a text to my brother-in-law and discovered he was calling with an update. So I told him I'd return his call when I got home.

Dad was resting comfortably but his blood pressure had dropped significantly. His breathing was slowing and sounds of aspiration were evident - fluid in his lungs. The nurses told my sister it may only be another 24-48 hours so she opted to stay with him.

My dad has Parkinson's Disease. And outside of a few tremors every now and then he's been as healthy as a horse. No one prepared us for this phase of the disease. Sure, he's had good days and bad days, but a sudden and complete shutdown was not in the cards. Not like this.

A few days ago I spoke with the hospitalist who ironically had been my dad's family doctor. Her dad had Parkinson's too, and to her this was the normal progression of things. How we missed this information over the years surprises me. It seems so sudden - and so very unexpected.

Yeah, I was aware that the meds made him loopy and want to sleep, and that his mobility was progressively getting worse, but this? There were no indicators, no clues that this was coming, so swiftly and so stealth-like.

So today, while families celebrate their dads, I wait for "the" call. In some ways I hope he goes today, for two reasons: I don't want him to suffer; and Father's Day would be the perfect time to remember my dad each year.

Happy Father's Day, dad. You are on my mind and will always be in my heart.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 15, 2014 at 10:17 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.