Long Term Care
My dad is being moved into a nursing home this week - without my approval (sort of). In many ways I'm an innocent bystander, powerless to do much from 700 miles away, but I'm conflicted nonetheless.
As I sat outside watching the steam from my morning coffee waft over the side of the mug given to me by Clara V. before she passed, I couldn't resist feeling a bit sentimental.
Four years ago I was living with my dad, mostly out of necessity, although I felt a strong responsibility too. My mom had passed away suddenly from a massive stroke and my dad's one request was that he wasn't left alone. So I sold my belongings and moved back to the States.
In the six months I lived there I was able to observe my dad very closely. After all, we were sharing a cozy two bedroom apartment and his daily needs quickly became obvious. He was taking medication that was no longer required which had disabled him severely. Once I was able to ween him off and adjust the required meds he returned to his old self in many ways. I'm sure it also helped that he was eating properly, something I suspected wasn't happening before my mom passed.
After establishing home care I returned to Canada because it was my "home" and the stress of caring for my dad daily became overwhelming. However, my dad was doing well and I had peace of mind knowing that someone would be at his house every day.
During my stay-cation this week I determined to read something fictional on a daily basis. I completed the first short novel and moved onto a novella entitled The Faded Flower. Although it, too, is fiction, it is hitting home in a profound way.
The book is about a family who has to deal with the sudden loss of dad's job while discovering that grandpa was diagnosed with Alzheimer's which requires them to move him into a long term care facility.
While reading I stopped for a moment to observe the sun reflecting off the gigantic black walnut tree in my backyard. There was something very comforting about that. Something that I've been experiencing through nature all week.
Perhaps it is simply that all nature declares the glory of the Lord.
I am leaving in 2 days to go see my dad. In preparation for my visit I took this week off too, to rest and relax - and to let go of everyone else's baggage, focusing on me and my needs. To clear my head, so to speak, not worrying about what tomorrow will bring. Honestly? That has been a challenge today. Mostly because I think my dad would still be in the assisted living apartment we moved him into in March instead of being put into a nursing home. I'm mad about it. The nurse's didn't do their $3000-per-month-rent jobs. I lived with my dad - his random misgivings were daily but I helped him overcome them. Why couldn't they? And why such a sudden move? Has he really deteriorated that much since I saw him 3 months ago?
[Deep sigh.]
And so I digress. Something I told myself I wouldn't trouble myself with this week. It's too much. And I can't do anything about it. Not today, anyhow.
Four years ago I was living with my dad, mostly out of necessity, although I felt a strong responsibility too. My mom had passed away suddenly from a massive stroke and my dad's one request was that he wasn't left alone. So I sold my belongings and moved back to the States.
In the six months I lived there I was able to observe my dad very closely. After all, we were sharing a cozy two bedroom apartment and his daily needs quickly became obvious. He was taking medication that was no longer required which had disabled him severely. Once I was able to ween him off and adjust the required meds he returned to his old self in many ways. I'm sure it also helped that he was eating properly, something I suspected wasn't happening before my mom passed.
After establishing home care I returned to Canada because it was my "home" and the stress of caring for my dad daily became overwhelming. However, my dad was doing well and I had peace of mind knowing that someone would be at his house every day.
While reading I stopped for a moment to observe the sun reflecting off the gigantic black walnut tree in my backyard. There was something very comforting about that. Something that I've been experiencing through nature all week.
Perhaps it is simply that all nature declares the glory of the Lord.
The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they reveal knowledge.
They have no speech, they use no words;
no sound is heard from them.
Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is deprived of its warmth.
~ Psalm 19:1-6
I am leaving in 2 days to go see my dad. In preparation for my visit I took this week off too, to rest and relax - and to let go of everyone else's baggage, focusing on me and my needs. To clear my head, so to speak, not worrying about what tomorrow will bring. Honestly? That has been a challenge today. Mostly because I think my dad would still be in the assisted living apartment we moved him into in March instead of being put into a nursing home. I'm mad about it. The nurse's didn't do their $3000-per-month-rent jobs. I lived with my dad - his random misgivings were daily but I helped him overcome them. Why couldn't they? And why such a sudden move? Has he really deteriorated that much since I saw him 3 months ago?
[Deep sigh.]
And so I digress. Something I told myself I wouldn't trouble myself with this week. It's too much. And I can't do anything about it. Not today, anyhow.
This entry was posted
on Thursday, June 05, 2014 at 11:15 AM.
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